Ryan Leaf is back,
again. The man-child who set the Chargers franchise back at least five years
when he fell far short of the expectations of being the No.2 overall pick in
the 1998 draft did a brief tour of radio row here on Thursday, talking about
his sobriety and new job. “I’m doing well,” Leaf said. “I’m happy. I’m living
an un-chaotic, peaceful life. My life was never peaceful or not filled with
chaos.” Folks in San Diego, still resentful over Leaf’s three tumultuous and
fruitless years in San Diego, might not be compelled to trust or even care
about Leaf’s fortunes. Nonetheless, the 39-year-old Leaf appeared sincerely
reconciled with a turbulent past that included more than two years in jail for
stealing prescription drugs and a probation violation.
Leaf caused a stir when
he appeared on radio row four years ago at Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis,
promoting a book and saying so many of the right things about having turned
around his life. “But I was high,” he said Thursday. There was a humility in
his words and mannerisms Thursday. “When I woke up on a jailhouse floor, that’s
different; it just is,” he said. “You never thought you’d be there, coming from
where I came from. I didn’t know when I’d get to a point where I was grateful
for that happening. I can say I’m grateful for that happening. I lost 32 months
of my life, but I’m grateful.” Leaf is working for a recovery community in Los
Angeles as a “program ambassador.” A part of his role is sharing his story with
kids.
He said he was in town
staying with his girlfriend’s family and he came to radio row to share his
story and possibly help someone who hears it. He said other former players he
spent time with Thursday were happy for his new life. “I was so ashamed and guilty
of my performance when I played,” Leaf said. “The expectations were so high. I
stayed away from this stuff.” Leaf said he hasn’t been to San Diego since 2011.
He has a “nest egg” left from the estimated $25 million he made in his career,
which ended with his retirement prior to the 2002 season. Still, he said, “I’m
going to have to work the next 25 years.”
He also spoke about the two quarterbacks in Super Bowl 50. He said
Panthers quarterback Cam Newton “plays like I wish I could have. He’s having fun.”
The other QB in
Sunday’s game is the one Leaf has been tied to since they both came out off
college. Peyton Manning, of course, was the No.1 pick in 1998 and is playing in
his fourth Super Bowl before likely calling it quits as the NFL’s all-time leading
passer. “I’m really proud of him,” Leaf said. “He may be a guy I should be
resentful of, but hell no. I’m just trying to put love out there all the time …
You look at somebody who embodies everything you want to have and you say, ‘I
want what he’s got. I don’t want the football stuff he’s got. I want
emotionally and spiritually what he’s got.”
